What’s really going on? 

I’m not always good at remembering where I read things, but many years ago I read a great book called The Tao of Leadership. My impression is that it I found it a bit woo in parts, but I would probably have a different attitude now. I’d like to read it again but it’s in the box of books I let go of so I could create space for higher value (sigh). Let go. 

The line that struck me was this (thanks Google):  

“The superficial leader is swept up by drama, sensation, and excitement. All this confusion is blinding. But the leader who returns again and again to awareness-of-process has a deep sense of how things happen.” (John Heider, Tao of Leadership) 

My remembered version of it is even simpler “The wise leader knows what is really going on here”. To me that means  

• detecting patterns within events 

• connecting dots to form a new picture 

• see meaning hiding behind clever facades 

We use “What’s really going on here?” as a key phrase in our Active Leadership programmes. In that moment where you have an instinct or half thought or impression that you could easily ignore, or in that moment when you are reacting to a situation simply out of habit, stop (we call this moving your mind into Active Mode, or Active Mindset). Ask yourself the question “what’s really going on here?”. It may be nothing, so you can proceed. Or you may now be aware of some hesitation in yourself or others, suggesting that something more needs to be discussed/understood/considered. Now you have an insight. And if you have insight, you have responsibility to do something about it. 

What I like about the question is that it makes us aware of two things: first, there is no single reality! There’s the face value reality of what is happening in front of you, like the surface of the sea. And underneath that is a whole other world of currents and structures and life forms. That’s the same in your team in their work. Much of the time you can navigate on the surface. But sometimes you have to go deeper to understand the forces shaping the surface. 

The second thing I like is that it makes us aware of ourselves. Most of the time we’re like fish, unaware of the water we’re swimming in (just to continue the maritime metaphor). In an Active Mindset moment, we become aware of ourselves and how we’re operating. In that moment, we have a choice about what we do next, how we respond. In the absence of that awareness we react – literally re-act – out of habit. 

Try it today. The next time you experience a brushing, a sense of something passing, a hint of static in an interaction or an event, stop. Ask yourself: “what’s really going on here?” Then make a conscious choice. 

That’s mindfulness at work.